New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being pregnant is like rehab
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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