Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.