WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
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Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.