she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
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I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
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I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.