So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
I said "one day" and that day is not today