Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
