I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
