Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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