he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
