Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
