wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
