i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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