So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
