Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
