You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
