Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
