Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
