"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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