i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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