so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize