we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
