I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
