she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
