Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
And then my night got REAL pukey
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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