I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
