I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
