And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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