Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
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Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
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I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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