What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
