Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I intend to get homeless drunk
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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