I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
