i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
