last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
