How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
