I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
