bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize