One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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