She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
