I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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