This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just want to make out with him forever
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
