FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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