His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
