And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
