i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
