I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
