So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize