But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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