Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
