who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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