Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Randomize
