i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
