So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Dick very happy bro
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
