Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
