good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
