I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
