"it" just moved
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
