No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
