Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize