Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
