either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
