i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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