It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
