brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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