I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think I sprained my soul last night
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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