I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Randomize
