I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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