god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
