so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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